Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Microsoft Reveals 15 Ways To Make You Look Like a Douchebag

Whilst trying to keep up with E3 this year I have been bombarded with Microsoft news. Mostly because day zero was all about Microsoft anyway, but that's hardly the point here. Every second post on every website I read is about the new XBox 360. In my own personal opinion, if a company has to keep releasing different versions of (more or less) the same console, then that says that there's either:

a) something wrong with the console

b) something wrong with the company or

c) something wrong with the fanbase of people that keep purchasing it.

I think the announcement of the Kinect (Project Natal) and the 15 thrilling titles for it, proves all three of my points.

The Kinect launch list looks like this:

Kinect Adventures (Microsoft Game Studios)
Kinectimals (Frontier Studio/Microsoft Game Studios)
Kinect Joy Ride (Big Park/Microsoft Game Studios)
Kinect Sports (Rare/Microsoft Game Studios)
Dance Central (MTV Games)
Your Shape: Fitness Evolved (Ubisoft)
EA Sports Active 2 (EA)
Deca Sports Freedom (Hudson)
Dance Masters (Konami)
Adrenalin Misfits (Konami)
Zumba Fitness (Majesco)
Sonic Free Riders (Sega)
The Biggest Loser: Ultimate Workout (THQ)
Motion Sports (Ubisoft)
Game Party: In Motion (Warner Bros.)

It also looks like a waste of money, as well as a waste of time, and a sure fire way to kiss your dignity goodbye. Microsoft never ceases to amaze me with just how much they're able to do.

The launch list looks just like every title already available on the Wii, except now you get to repurchase them for a lot more money on a much more expensive console and prance around your living room without a controller.

The Kinect. Making you look as cool as these guys from November onwards.

8 comments:

  1. I dnt know why ppl hate remotes so much. Why the push to get rid of them Mcrosoft? I have an xbox, but wont be buying a kinect, b/c my wii can do all of that.

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  2. I know! It's a little bit like phones and buttons. I don't understand why everybody likes touch pads so much. To me, there's nothing more satisfying than pushing buttons.

    And I agree, I like controllers. I like being able to lounge on the couch with my controller and just be lazy and have fun. If I wanted to do what the Kinect WANTS me to do, I'd join an aerobics class

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  3. But they have kinectimals!
    just kidding! i'd be embarrassed to say i was playing kinectimals. lol. nintendo did the best e3 presentation with sony close behind and m$ was way behind. it was probably the worst e3 for m$ ever. it seems that kinect is now their focus as they didn't have many core games. remember when they were saying that their e3 show would be amazing! what were they thinking? this year was an enbarrassment for m$

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  4. Actually the kinectimals are sort of cute. But if cute furry animals are Kinect's saving grace well....

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  5. You forgot about the Star Wars game, which is pretty much 'Watch a star wars rail shooter, while you flail your arms about like a crazy.'

    You going to cover the Sony/Nintendo press events, too?

    "if a company has to keep releasing different versions of (more or less) the same console"
    Every company does that.
    Playstation -> PSOne
    PS2 -> PS2 Slim
    Xbox 360 Arcade -> 360 Elite -> 360 Slim (which finally seems to realise that including a network adapter seems like a good idea! Wow!)
    PS3 Phat -> Different sizes of PS3 Phat -> PS3 Slim
    Wii -> Now it's black OMG! lol

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  6. Yeah I plan on covering the Nintendo/Sony ones too. Especially with Metal Gear, ON THE DS!

    And I can understand releasing a slim version. But I have a big ps3. Not gonna buy a slim one. You either buy one or the other. Not all of them.

    And with the X-Box there was the XBox 360, the xbox 360 that didnt red ring, the xbox elite and then the slim.

    Like geez. Give it a rest.

    AND if that's the best thing you have to show at E3, then that spells a bad year for that company. Like, hey guys. I know Nintendo and Sony are talking about new hardware and 3D gaming but look what we have! A rehashed version of the SAME CONSOLE YOU ALREADY OWN! WEEEEEE

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  7. Microsoft bombed their press comference... they barely showed any new games and kinect really has some major issues, starting with the 99% casual games they announced with it... oh... and lag. But Sony and Nintedo put on a good show and didn't resort to bribery.

    Didn't see much of nintendo, but I reckon sony might have held back a few announcements after how badly microft screwed up their conference, because there was a whole lot more people were expecting. So, hopefully sony keeps the punches rolling over the next few months.

    By the looks of it, sony has a much better launch line up for the move, 34 titles so far with a mix of casuals, shooters, rts... and othr crap... you get the point. Anyway, looks better than kinect.

    Oh! And it has eye pet :P
    (http://www.playstationuniversity.com/playstation-move-full-list-of-e3-games-3989/)

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