A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

With a quirky young man named Alistair

Who am I?

I am Jenntly, a human noble turned Grey Warden sent to defeat the evil Darkspawn. In a past life I was Jennatalia, an elf who shared the same future. However my past self came into a rather unfortunate bout of suicidal depression when her beloved left, and thus Jenntly was created to take her place and do things right.

My tale is long, and it is arduous, but what people should take into account is that my tale is over. It is completed, and has been done so not once, but twice.

So what do I do, exactly?

As a Grey Warden, my number one priority is to defeat the arch demon and save the world. Or it’s meant to be, according to pretty much everybody else in the whole of Ferelden.
“Oh you’re a Grey Warden? How goes the Blight then?”
“Killed that archdemon yet, Warden?”
Never a “How’s your day been?” or “Would you like a drink that’s actually given to you rather than implied?”

Just because my main concern is meant to be the arch demon, doesn’t make it so. In fact, my number one priority didn’t have anything to do with demons (til he gets inside your tent anyway). His name: Alistair. Reason as to why he’s my number one: because he’s just so damn cute!

However, even without the added eroticism the world of Ferelden is lovely to experience. The elves homeland is lush and mystical, and the dwarf city is one drenched in lore. Caverns and temples have surprises at every turn and the wide range of enemies forever keeps me on my toes.

The sounds of Ferelden in particular are quite breathtaking. Each step crunches gravel and leaves under your feet and the wind whistles past you as you run to your next destination. Cities are filled with the chatter of townspeople and temples crumble and groan with each opened door. And that’s not to mention the lyrical magnificence of little miss Leliana as she serenades you.

Of course, all of us gaming vets know that any good RPG game can boast these things. Final Fantasy has been known for its beautiful landscapes and accompanying soundtrack and the worlds seen in World of Warcraft are just about as weird and colourful as they come. So what makes Dragon Age: Origins different?

You get to have sex.

Finally, the good bit.

As soon as it became apparent that Grey Wardens could save the world and fall in love, my tale got a lot steamier and sickeningly sweet than any other story I’ve ploughed a character through.

My time at camp slowly stopped being about outfitting my team with the best weapons and began being spent lavishing attention on Alistair so he’d pay attention to me. As Jenntly as I could (haha get it?) I began coercing Alistair into falling in love with me, and soon enough, he was there. However, to my dismay (more like pleasure, but anyway) many other characters began to feel the same way.

This led to many talks around the campfire about ‘that grey warden slut’ but those words didn’t bother me. I knew who my heart belonged to and the owner of said heart knew it too. Eventually I let the other contenders down lightly, informing them that I had made my choice and it was indeed, Alistair. Luckily for me they understood and didn’t come to my tent in the middle of the night wielding knives and pitchforks.

Just like a crush on a real person, my sordid love affair with the only other remaining Grey Warden produced a variety of emotions. There were butterflies, there was warmth, there were countless nights spent together in a stuffy tent making love to the cries of the darkspawn hoard that slowly surrounded us.

Of course, where there is sex, there is gossip, and boy did my party members do a lot of that. Well, not so much Sten, as he didn’t really do much of anything except shit all over my ideas. But everybody else raised questions, poked fun and gazed longingly at a love they wish they could possess.

Everybody needs something beautiful to gaze upon in times of trouble. Thankfully you’ve got me.

And then what?
In my past life, the romance with Alistair was cut short well before its time. In the end, Alistair decided that he couldn’t be with me any longer, and the spiral into depression began. It was like someone had taken the beautiful fire that burned inside me and struck it out without warning. For the remaining hours of playthrough I fought tooth and nail to bring Alistair back to me, but he wanted nothing of it. I was tempted to end it all then and there, but a little voice inside kept me going, saying that a sad ending is better than none at all.

Finally the story was over, and my romance with Alistair never resumed.

Jennatalia was then doomed to a life in stasis, never to be restored again. Not even to access special features or gain a 100% completion rating.

But now this tale belongs to Jenntly. And as this is being written, Alistair still very much belongs to me. I hope with every fibre in my Warden body that it will remain that way, but even if it doesn’t, I will always have the beautiful memories.

Dragon Age Origins: the game that broke my dry spell. Thankyou for 160 fantastic hours.

Tales from the Otherside

Today I am so very pleased to announce my first ever guest article! Yay!! If you too would like to be featured here and gain oodles of internet fame, track me down on Twitter or find my email over there >> in the profile box and send me a line.

But now onto the article!

This fantastic tale from the otherside was written by the very lovely Mark Duval, who found me on twitter one day and then stalked me a bit and thus a beautiful friendship was born!

How I lost my Gaming Soul (and then found it again), by Mark Duval

I've been playing games ever since I can remember. The first computer I used was possibly a MicroBee computer at my local library but as I was so young it's difficult to recall exactly. I do clearly remember though being introduced to computer games by my dad on an Apple 2e computer that he had borrowed during the holidays from the school where he taught. With only 16 colours it looked very primitive compared to today's computer graphics, but the games captured my imagination. I could be racing a moon buggy in Moon Patrol, running my own business in Lemonade Stand, exploring American history in The Oregon Trail (and dying of dysentery), or searching for lost treasure in The Seven Cities of Gold. The possibilities were endless. In spite of the minimal graphics my imagination was fired as I explored worlds and loved every moment of it. I also tried to teach myself BASIC so I could program my own games and make my own worlds and creations.

As I grew older, my love for computer games grew and I acquired other computers systems and experienced many other magnificent games of the 80s and 90s. But as I entered high school, it occurred to me that not everyone appreciated my hobby. Many of the "cool" people thought it to be strange even. And with a typical teenage insecurity, I wanted to be one of the "cool" people even though I clearly wasn't. So I hid my passion for gaming, playing with and speaking of it only with trusted nerds whom I knew I could depend on not to out me to the "cool" people.

Looking back, I think of it now as a type of Stockholm syndrome. I had nothing in common with the "cool" people, the bullies, the "normal" people. I didn't like them at all. Yet perversely, I somehow wanted to be like them and I wanted them to like me. And they wouldn't like me I assumed for the nerdy things I enjoyed so I felt that I had to hide that part of me and be someone else for them. I think many other teenage nerdlings experience this perception of being "not good enough". If the bullies and "cool" people tell it to them enough times, sadly they can start to believe it to be the truth, as their confidence is chipped away bit by bit. What they were once passionate about suddenly makes them feel inadequate. This is tragic.

The effects of this continued for me as I finished high school and entered university. I was standing in the university building looking at one of the university societies. It was a society for people who enjoyed playing games and watching anime. I should have walked over to them and said, "hello". They were my people. But I walked away avoiding them like the plague lest someone see me near them and think I was not "cool" or good enough. It perhaps seems tragically laughable now, but that was the psychological consequence that the bullies and the "cool" people had had on me. It wasn't long after that, that I made the decision to permanently give up on playing video games. I was going to do what cool people did instead for entertainment (whatever that was, I wasn't sure).

I was working in retail in a department store during my final year of uni. I was in the music department. That made me hip man. I knew all about bands and I went to gigs. I enjoyed some of them even. One quiet evening at work when there were no customers to be found, I was chatting with the guy who worked in the computer and video games department that was located next to my music department. He was telling me about his little thirteen year old brother who was an obsessed fan of the rapper Eminem. His brother had gone to such extreme lengths as filing away the enamel from his teeth because, apparently, that's what insane Eminem fans did to show how devoted they were to their idol. "It could be worse", he shrugged and said. "At least he's not a geek who plays games". I gulped, and felt insulted this time rather than feeling inferior. In the background was a Playstation with Final Fantasy VIII running. I could hear the music from Balamb Garden playing and I felt wistfully nostalgic. I smiled as I returned to my section. The music brought back memories of playing the game. It made me happy and I didn't feel ashamed.

After I had finished uni and was working for the government in the city, I was still on a self-imposed exile from gaming, but sometimes during lunch breaks I'd walk into video game shops (careful that no one I knew saw me) and pensively perused the games on display.

How things changed is as follows. I would take the train to and from the city five days a week. It was about a fifty minute cramped, dull journey each way. Sometimes I'd read, sometimes I'd listen to music, or sometimes I'd sleep, but one day I purchased a new mobile phone (cool people have the latest mobile phones, right?) which had preinstalled on it some very basic java games. One of these games was a puzzle game called Nature Park. It was a clone of Sega's Columns but it was fun and addictive. I enjoyed playing this consistently for weeks until I pondered playing something else. However, mobile phone games at this time were fairly bland, and with the rare exception such as Nature Park, not that interesting. If I really wanted handheld gaming on the train, I'd need to brush the dust off a dedicated handheld system such as my Gameboy Advance. It wasn't long after this though that I noticed a girl about my age playing with a Gameboy Advance of her own on the train in public. She didn't appear concerned that anyone might see her or judge her. She was enjoying her game. She was normal looking enough - fairly attractive even. My built up preconceptions were being challenged, and so I decided that perhaps I too could bring my Gameboy Advance onto the train to pass the time.

I started off with Sword of Mana. It wasn't much fun. I wondered if gaming wasn't for me anymore. Perhaps I really had moved on? But it wasn't that. Square just really hasn't made a decent Mana game since the Secret of Mana games on the Super Nintendo. So next, I tried the port of The Legend of Zelda - A Link to the Past for the Gameboy Advance. This was a game I adored as a teenager, and I found on the train that it was just as wonderful and imaginative to play as an adult. I was captivated again. I was experiencing the same thrill and joy from gaming that I first felt as a young child on the Apple 2e. It was a beautiful reconciliation with myself.

Going on the assumption that Nintendo first party games are usually quality games, I next tried Metroid Fusion, and I loved every moment. It was a brilliant, platformer sci-fi epic by Nintendo, as was Metroid Zero Mission that I played next. I also enjoyed playing through the original NES Metroid that's unlocked upon finishing the main game. Next up I tried Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, an entertaining and funny RPG for the Gameboy Advance.

At this point it was now clear to me, playing games was something I had always enjoyed and something for which I needed to feel no shame. So I took the next step, and bought a new console. I bought a Gamecube with Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Super Smash Bros Melee, and Animal Crossing. Many more games would follow.

It dawned on me too that I had friends who enjoyed playing games as well. They wanted to play games with me. They wanted to talk to me about games. They wanted to make videos with me about video games to amuse ourselves. This was a passion they shared too and thousands and thousands of people in the world did also. Why did I ever feel the need to hide it? Why did I feel that this was not good enough?

It was actually good enough, and it is good enough! As I waited outside the store with my friends in the December of 2006 at the midnight launch for the Wii, I felt content with who I was and where I was.

Although my gaming rebirth was largely triggered with Nintendo, I've since gone on to enjoy games from all the other current systems of this gaming generation as well, along with still taking pleasure in the retro games of my past. Now, I'm studying full-time, with plans to create video games for a career and make worlds and stories that can captivate and entertain others as video games have done for me. The circle is complete.

- Mark Duval

I see normal people

In December I was a Christmas Casual at a store called Tree of Life. If you’ve never heard of the store, it’s pretty much a place where hippie gypsies go to sell hippie gypsy stuff. It smells like incense, is covered in glitter and everybody who works there jingles when they move. It was also one of the only places in the world I have ever been where nobody knew anything about video games. This caused me to realise that there is a whole other species of human out there which I have never known about. I call them normies, and they are humans who have never had contact with video games, nor do they ever wish to. And since I fear what I do not understand, I have trekked far and wide across the interwebs to uncover what little information there is about these odd creatures.

In order to understand the average ‘normal’ person, first we must understand what they do in their natural habitat. Unlike ours, which consists of mainly online chatrooms, video game worlds or our couch, the normies' natural habitat is often a large area surrounded by vast amounts of alcohol or caffeine. Be it a sporting ground, a night club, a concert hall or a cafe, normies will more than often be seen outside. Though my exploits outside my gaming cocoon haven't yielded many opportunities to meet these normies of which I speak, I am aware that they do exist out there. So when we come across one… what the hell do we do?

Firstly we must remember that normal people have friends too, although their friends are mostly made through real life encounters than over the internet. And when normal people socialise they will always leave their house to do so, unlike us gamers who have perfected the social encounter without even having to leave our couches.

Key point: Though the normies may not own an xbox or a playstation, they more than likely own an electronic device of some sort. Music is universal, so perhaps they own an ipod. Or since they seem to be quite social creatures, there’s a good chance they’re on facebook. Both these things are a medium for playing casual games, which means there is hope that they may not be as different as we think. Maybe.

After extensive study trying to figure out how these creatures spend their time, I decided to grow some balls (an impressive feat since I’m a woman, and also a total coward) and talk to one of them. But that was a lot harder than I originally thought.

Back when I was working at the Tree, I decided to engage the girls in conversation. Which went well for the first few minutes. We bitched about customers, spoke about the weather outside, chatted about what we were doing on the weekend and five minutes later the conversation had dried up.

We never have this problem with our friends because we choose them due to our common interests, but when we interact with a new species it’s a whole other board game. Start dropping words like ‘playstation’ or ‘final fantasy’ and the normies will think you’re some kind of crazy sex addict and bail immediately.

Key point: Use your surroundings to think up a conversational point. For example, if you’re at a bus stop and there’s a man walking a ferret (not too uncommon in Sydney) perhaps remark to the person next to you ‘Now would you look at that. It’s a ferret!’. Or if you’re at work and somebody buys 17 X-Box 360’s (it’s happened before) strike up a conversation by asking the most obvious question “Why?”

Finally we come to the inevitable crossroads where we must decide whether we should adopt the normies as a pet and eventual friend, or if they’re just too exotic and different for any such partnership to exist.

As with any new species introduce to our life, it is important to understand them so we can figure out whether they will be an asset or a hindrance. My experience with ‘normies’ is that they require a lot of upkeep. Each conversation, outing and general memory must be met and created with a whopping load of effort. Striking up new conversation ideas and finding places to socialise that don’t have video games behind the bar isn’t an easy feat. You will often find that as soon as your brain reaches its limit it sinks back into habit and various game titles, moves and storyline plots will fall out of your mouth without any warning. Such an outburst often scares normies off, so if you’re in doubt always have them micro chipped so you can track them down later.

The method above means adapting to the normie lifestyle, which entails inevitable change to our comfortable gaming habits. And if you’re any sort of real gamer, this will present a problem for you. Yet our love of things new and shiny is still ever present in the back of our minds.

If you wish to possess a normie in your life, and yet not change your lifestyle in the slightest, there is only one way to go about it. You must destroy the normie, and re-create them with the mind of a gamer. Some would argue that this is like destroying a dog and rebuilding it as a cat, but at least you will know the true history of your new friend/pet/slave boy.

Key point: Acquiring a normie in your life is a big responsibility. Remember that you are introducing them to a world they have never before been a part of. Therefore, bringing them into a sea of video game websites, podcasts, networks, tweets and blogs then getting sick of them and leaving them to drown is a definite no.

Normies are different, and depending on your social circle (or lack thereof) you may encounter them regularly or never at all. It is important to remember, that like a pet or small child, normies must be treated with the same love and respect we would give all members of our gaming community. Except the trolls. And the jerks. And the people that trawl the internet for porn.

Normies aren’t a species that can be loved fleetingly and then left on their own. They’re a commitment, they’re a change and they’re a lot of work. They’re not my pet of choice, as I’d rather own a cat or some seamonkeys, but should you choose to bring one into your life, just remember to always be wary of their progress. Playing Black Ops for 15hours straight does not a gamer make, no matter how much the normie claims otherwise.